Love Styles — What Is Your Love Language? 6 Love Styles by Lee
Eros, Ludus, Storge, Pragma, Mania, Agape — 6 love styles from John Lee's theory. Which style dominates in you and how does it affect your relationships?
6 ways of loving
Have you ever wondered why some people fall in love at first sight while others need months? Why some treat love as an adventure and others as a commitment?
John Alan Lee (1973) proposed a theory of 6 love styles inspired by ancient Greek. Just as there are primary colors from which others can be mixed, Lee identified 3 primary styles and 3 secondary ones.
3 primary styles
Eros — passionate love
Intense physical attraction. "Love at first sight" is Eros's territory. People with dominant Eros fall in love quickly, value physical closeness and have a strong sense of aesthetics about a partner. Risk: burnout when the initial passion fades.
Ludus — playful love
Love as a game, an adventure, a flirtation. People high in Ludus aren't looking for "the one" — they enjoy the process. They like variety, avoid commitment and take love lightly. Risk: hurting partners who expect more.
Storge — friendship-based love
Love that grows out of friendship. Slow, gradual building of closeness. No "fireworks", but deep trust and stability. People with dominant Storge value shared values and comfort. Risk: lack of passion.
3 secondary styles
Pragma — pragmatic love (Storge + Ludus)
A "list of requirements" — a partner chosen rationally for compatibility: education, values, life plans. Pragmatists aren't "cynical calculators" — they are people who know that passion fades while compatibility stays.
Mania — obsessive love (Eros + Ludus)
Intense, emotionally unstable love. Swings between euphoria and despair. Jealousy, a need for constant reassurance, fear of loss. Strongly linked to the anxious attachment style.
Agape — unconditional love (Eros + Storge)
Altruistic, self-sacrificing love. The partner's good above your own. The rarest style in pure form. Risk: burnout if it isn't reciprocated.
Which style is "best"?
None — because each one works in different circumstances. Research by Hendrick and Hendrick (1986) shows that the most lasting relationships are those in which both partners have similar love style profiles. The biggest conflicts arise when Mania meets Ludus or Eros meets Pragma.
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