Love Styles — What Is Your Love Language? 6 Love Styles by Lee
Eros, Ludus, Storge, Pragma, Mania, Agape — 6 love styles from John Lee's theory. Which style dominates in you and how does it affect your relationships?
6 ways of loving
Have you wondered why some people fall in love at first sight while others need months? John Alan Lee (1973) proposed a theory of 6 love styles inspired by ancient Greek concepts of love.
3 primary styles
Eros — passionate love: Intense physical attraction. "Love at first sight." Quick to fall in love, values physical closeness. Risk: burnout when initial passion fades.
Ludus — playful love: Love as a game, adventure, flirtation. Enjoys the process, avoids commitment. Risk: hurting partners who expect more.
Storge — friendship-based love: Love that grows from friendship. Slow, gradual closeness. No fireworks but deep trust and stability. Risk: lack of passion.
3 secondary styles
Pragma — pragmatic love (Storge + Ludus): Partner chosen rationally for compatibility — education, values, life plans. Not cynical calculation but recognition that passion fades while compatibility lasts.
Mania — obsessive love (Eros + Ludus): Intense, emotionally unstable love. Swings between euphoria and despair. Jealousy, constant need for reassurance. Strongly linked to anxious attachment style.
Agape — selfless love (Eros + Storge): Altruistic, self-sacrificing love. Partner's good above your own. The rarest style in pure form. Risk: burnout if unreciprocated.
Which style is "best"?
None — each works in different circumstances. Research by Hendrick & Hendrick (1986) shows the most lasting relationships are those where both partners have similar love style profiles.
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